Monthly Archives: June 2011

Thoughts that might run through your head at 3AM when both of your children spike a symptom-free fever

I mean, if you’re a really reasonable lady like me. If you’re unreasonable, probably you just give them some Motrin and shuffle off to bed and go back to sleep. But that’s not what a NORMAL person does. No no. It goes more like this:

IS SOMEONE GOING TO VOMIT? OH MY GOSH, THEY ARE, AREN’T THEY. They don’t have sore throats or stuffy noses or coughs WHAT IS LEFT I ASK? Is … is my stomach hurting? No no, that’s just the baby rearranging my ribs.

I BET IT WAS THAT VISIT TO THE PEDIATRICIAN’S OFFICE LAST WEEK. You take them in for an inflamed bug bite and they bring home an Actual Ailment. It was probably the damn sticker bin. NO MORE STICKERS. SHOULDN’T THEY HAVE A SPECIAL WELL CHILD STICKER BIN?

Wait — NO. After that visit we were told to give Roo some Benadryl … did we WASH the dosing cup super well after the last time they were sick, or did it just get rinsed? I HAVE TO GET BETTER ABOUT THE ACTUAL WASHING. HOT WATER IS NOT ENOUGH. I can’t believe I was so stupid! Sick from old medicine cup germs!

Hmm. My dad was sick last week. And we went over there this weekend. These children lick everything. But he had a sore throat! They don’t have sore throats! PLEASE DON’T THROW UP.

I KNEW GOING TO THE PARK THIS AFTERNOON WAS A BAD IDEA. NO ONE EVER LISTENS TO MEEEE. What about heat exhaustion? That can come on hours later, right? Probably I should google it. It also has an elevated pulse rate as a symptom … let’s check pulses. OMG THAT NUMBER IS HUGE IT IS HEAT EXHAUSTION hmm wait they are pretty small what is the normal pulse rate for a 4-year-old? Oh.

That takes us up to … well, now. Where I continue to wonder about the origins of the fevers, because my brain just NEEDS ANSWERS for these things. Incredibly REASONABLE answers, if I do say so myself.

(8 hours later, still fevered, still no other symptoms, unless staring glassy-eyed at episode after episode of Dora is a symptom, in which case, I AM ILL AS WELL.)


1 Comment

Filed under My girls, Not even kidding

Takin’ it quick in a number of times approximating 7

1. Well! I am 35.5 weeks along with this here baby boy, and I have yet to take a single belly picture. I keep MEANING to, but then I think, “It’s not an actual week marker! I’ll do it on Tuesday when the week rolls over!” But I think Tuesday must be my Dirty Day. (We’ll pretend it’s just Tuesday and not that I feel too gross for pictures every single other day of the week. Also huge.)

2. Seriously, with the hugeness. This baby is up in my rib cage. And also doing headstands on my pelvis. My midwife was all “yeah, he’s gonna be long” and then I cried because HAVE YOU SEEN MY HUSBAND? He is nearly a foot taller than I am. Let’s just hope it’s a SCRAWNY long baby, to match him. (Vio was super long at birth, too, but Roo was smaller. I never felt like I got all that gigantic when pregnant with her. I assumed this was because I had DONE the whole pregnancy thing and was totally an expert and knew what to expect and yada yada but GUESS WHAT NO SHE WAS ACTUALLY JUST SMALLER.)

3. I’m going to be shocked when this baby is unlike both of his sisters in whatever ways in which he decides to be. We keep saying things like, “Oh, I hope he sleeps more like ___” and “I hope he nurses as well as ___ did!” without regard for the fact that he may do these things in a completely different THIRD way. Really, are there three different ways children can be? You have one and you assume they’re all the same; you have two and you realize that opposites exist. I don’t know how to find a third opposite. That involves, like, triangles. It sounds pointy.

4. I cannot even talk about how bummed I am about not going to the Blathering. Cannot. Too bummed.

5. The girls’ latest favorite pastime is putting on shows for me during the day. I’m guessing this is a result of Vio practicing and practicing at school for the graduation program and now having no outlet for her NEED TO PERFORM. (In front of us. In front of everyone at school I held my breath the entire time because she kept flashing the Panic Eyes and I was convinced she was being scarred for life.) They all begin with Roo standing up on a bin shouting, “Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girrs! Presenting …” Then they argue.

6. I had to get up about 12 times while writing this, but it was for a VERY GOOD REASON and now I will share it with you for making it all the way through the billion takes above … the Most Delicious Peanut Butter Cookies I Have Ever Personally Consumed.

Peanut Butter Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

(adapted from

  • 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
  • 3/8 cup white sugar
  • 1/2 cup brown sugar
  • 1/2 cup (heaping) natural (read: gritty) peanut butter
  • 1 egg
  • 1 tsp. vanilla
  • 3/4 cup white whole wheat flour (all purpose would be fine)
  • 1 tsp. baking soda
  • 1/2 tsp. kosher salt
  • 3/4 cup quick cooking oats
  • 1/2 cup raisins (I’m guessing … I tossed in a few handfuls)

1. Preheat oven to 350. In bowl of stand mixer, cream butter and sugars using the paddle attachment. Add heaping half cup of peanut butter and mix again until fully incorporated. Add egg and vanilla and beat until smooth.

2. In a separate bowl, sift together flour, baking soda, and salt. Add to the wet ingredients and mix on low, scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed. Stir in oats and raisins. (I threw them in with the mixer going as low as it would go. I didn’t want smoosh raisins.)

3. Drop 1 1/2-inch rounded balls of dough onto cookie sheet. (I baked mine on a Silpat and used a medium cookie scoop. If you don’t have either of those things but like to bake then WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR GO BUY THEM. Those aren’t, like, affiliate links, by the way. I’m way too lazy for all that nonsense.) Bake for 12-14 minutes, until lightly browned around the edges. Allow to firm up a bit on the cookie sheet before moving to cooling rack. (Twelve minutes will make a pretty soft cookie, and they will crumble if you try to transfer them without letting them sit a few minutes.)

Yield: 2 dozen

7. These cookies are for realsies amazing. I added raisins specifically to scare away all the tasteless people who think raisins in cookies are evil. RAISINS IN COOKIES ARE DELICIOUS.

(More quick takes here.)


Filed under Gestation, My girls, Quick takes