So. Last week, I had a dream that this baby was a boy. Before we decided to have a third child, we agreed that we would ONLY do so because we felt our family was incomplete — it couldn’t be a longing for a boy. Through all 17 weeks of this pregnancy so far, most people have commented, “Trying for your boy?” and “Maybe you’ll finally get your boy!” (mostly to my husband, haha, dads get annoying comments too! Yay!) And I know people are well-meaning, honestly, but I always answered that, since having my first daughter, I would be happy with an entire houseful of girls. (In fact, when I was pregnant with Roo, I hoped for another girl so Vio would get the sister I always wanted but never got to have.)
Anyway, so I thought I was FINE with a girl, and then I had that dream where the tech said, “It’s a boy!” and then I wept and was all, “Really? I’m having a boy?” When I woke up, well. That was an oh crap moment, you know? Because what if I found out it was a girl and I wasn’t as okay as I thought I would be?
So, today was the day. I’ve had the searing throat pain of doom for almost three full days, which has mostly distracted me (but also reminded me that whenever I get excited about something, I GET SICK THE DAY BEFORE COUGHCOUGHTHEBLATHERINGCOUGHCOUGH.)
I’m sorry, I’m not dragging this out to be a bother or because I LOVE suspense, but just because I wanted you to know the mindset I was in when I went in that room and got goo on my belly and started staring wide-eyed at the screen. (Remember: we didn’t find out the sex with the girls, so this was my first time finding out in advance.)
She puts the wand down on my belly, and just like what happened with Roo, the second she stuck the wand on, it was a crotch shot. I wasn’t SURE what I saw, but I suspected. When I saw Roo, I thought for sure it was a girl, and told Matt as much later. The tech took a few shots of some other things, and then she goes, “oh, wow! That’s probably different than what you’re used to seeing, huh?”
And I did the little BLINKBLINKBLINK cartoon thing. Completely holding my breath. Because, obviously, I knew what she meant, but she didn’t actually SAY it, and I didn’t want to BELIEVE it until she said it.
Just like in the dream, she said it was a boy, and I said, “REALLY? It’s a boy?” and I WEPT.
You guys, I am having a boy. I don’t even know what that means, but wow, I am so excited.