Monthly Archives: December 2010

Everything is relative. Yes, it is.

Here’s the thing, internet. We’ve got to get something straight here, because you’re driving me crazy lately. I know a lot of that is my own pregnancy crankiness, but still, I promise you, IT NEEDS TO BE SAID.

Let me start by saying that if you were sick with say, a cold. A nasty cold, to be sure, but still, nothing life threatening. Say you wanted to tweet about how miserable you feel. Would it help if someone were to reply, “THAT is not a real illness! You need to stop complaining!”? No, because, well, ILLNESS IS RELATIVE. So people (generally, there are always some jerkfaces) don’t do that.

Now, how about you’re stuck in traffic in Smalltown, USA. Usually you don’t have any traffic, but today there were some ducks in the road and they lost their mama and a sweet lady stopped and things got out of hand and now you’re going to be 15 minutes late to your bridge lesson or the apple pie eating contest or whatever. Would it be helpful to hear from Atlanta or DC, the Craptastic Traffic Capitals of These Known United States, “That’s NOT real traffic! Call me when you have to deal with this every day!”? No, because, well, TRAFFIC IS RELATIVE. We deal with what we’re used to, and when something happens out of the ordinary, IT IS OKAY TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT.

Well. It’s been cold in Florida the past few weeks. Not cold for, like, Wisconsin residents, but cold for MY FACE. I didn’t see snow until I was 26 years old. Seriously. We don’t have heavy coats, we don’t have gloves, and we don’t change out our wardrobes when the seasons change. Winter in Florida means throwing a hoodie over your summer wardrobe and swapping out jeans for shorts and skirts. Our air vents are in the ceiling, because we normally run COLD air conditioning, and seeing as how cool air falls, this makes sense. It does NOT make sense when we start running our heat and the heat blows halfway down and promptly begins to rise.

Anyway, it’s been getting into the low 40s and 30s overnight for a couple of weeks. That is cold. For here.

Yet, on Twitter, I have seen MULTIPLE comments to the effect of, “That’s not REAL winter!” or “This BARELY counts as snow! “*

I don’t care where you live, THERE IS SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE who would scoff at YOUR idea of WINTER. At YOUR idea of SNOW. I promise you!

When summer comes and, inevitably, there is a heat wave somewhere in the north that lasts for weeks where temperatures get up around 90 (the typical daily weather for a summer in Florida) I don’t hop on Twitter and start putting people down. Do you know why? Because WEATHER IS RELATIVE. They don’t have central air in the north, usually, because they don’t need it most of the time. So when it’s that hot, THERE IS NO RELIEF.

Probably, at this point, I am rambling. But, you guys, I propose this: Let’s stop trying to out-weather each other already. It is childish and ridiculous and serves NO PURPOSE other than to puff oneself up and feel superior to others.

It is absolutely, 100% MORE THAN OKAY to complain about something, even if you aren’t suffering the worst case of it that history has ever seen.

/cranky lady out.

*Disclaimer – This is meant in no way to shame the individual people who have made these comments; it’s an observation on the general attitude of the internet when it comes to weather.


Filed under Gestation, Not even kidding, Probably too serious

I guess there was one more pregnant lady at the Blathering than we realized …

That’s right, internet. There be some gestation up in my nethers.

We suspect it is human, though we can’t be sure from the photographs:

Hello my blobby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal!

Appears to be sporting a wee Smurf hat, which I can totally get behind.

By my calculations, we’re at 7w1d, with an EDD of July 19. By the baby’s calculation, we’re at 6w5d, with an EDD of July 22. Whatever, baby. What can you POSSIBLY KNOW?


Filed under Gestation