When I hear “spontaneous” I think “combustion”, and fire safety is no joke, son.

We just booked a two-night stay at a hotel in Orlando for a mini- Disney family vacation. We got two free Disney passes from my very best friend some time last year, and we still haven’t used them.

Booking a hotel room is the sort of thing that would normally drive me into a panicked frenzy, immediately worried with just which one of us will wake up in the night covered in vomit, thus destroying our plans, the plans of my future grandchildren, and our entire destinies in one fell swoop.

Except THIS hotel stay? Is booked for two days from now.

Yeah.

So take that panic, and multiply it by about a million. Spontaneity is not a color I often wear, is what I’m trying to tell you. I don’t even like going to the grocery store without a list. I go through the aisles in the same order every time. Have you ever skipped an aisle because you don’t need any cereal that week, so instead of going UP the canned foods aisle you’re now going DOWN the canned foods aisle? Everything is on the wrong side. HOW UNSETTLING IS THAT?

Ahem.

It worked out this way because Matt has some downtime at work this week. And the passes expire in about a month. And maybe a tiny bit because Pioneer Woman is doing a book-signing in Orlando on Wednesday night.

Little bit.

When I told Vio, her reaction was “I LOVE TO STAY IN A HOTEL … what’s a hotel?”

She, like the carefree child she is, is running all about, so incredibly excited that she will get to see where Minnie Mouse lives. I remember being little and getting all wound up about vacations, whether they were big or small. But my mom?

It was WEEKS of snapping. And preparing and planning and packing and laundry and more packing and WE DO NOT JOKE ABOUT VACATION BECAUSE VACATION IS SERIOUS BUSINESS. And I’d just roll my eyes all MAWWWM, RELAX and my brother and I would take bets on how many times she’d throw up before we got out the door.

We were TERRIBLE PEOPLE, and this is what I get for it: a great big dose of What She Was Going Through.

I’m sorry, Mom.

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2 Comments

Filed under Motherhood uncensored, NaBloPoMo, Not even kidding

2 responses to “When I hear “spontaneous” I think “combustion”, and fire safety is no joke, son.

  1. I really try to avoid skipping aisles. Having to go down all the other aisles the wrong way really throws off my grocery mojo. Because obviously I’m pretending I have some sort of grocery mojo. In any case…way to be spontaneous! Enjoy the vacation.

  2. WE are going to be at Disney World on Saturday and Sunday! DAMMIT, we will just barely miss you!

    Have fun! Ours is a spontaneous trip too and I’m so excited.