Deep in thought, I have been, as I have considered the possibilities for this post this week. Should I talk about that time I was walked in on COMPLETELY naked when I was somewhere I probably wasn’t supposed/expected to be? That time in high school I fell down the bleachers and sprained my ankle while my entire robotics team (OH LOOK — I AM EMBARRASSED AGAIN) went up to the stage to accept an award and I ended up carted away in an ambulance and had to ride the 4 hours back home with my calculus teacher and an administrator?
Too simple, really. And those were embarrassing for, like, 10 minutes. Forgotten. I don’t embarrass easily. I figure if I do something ridiculous in public (falling, saying something stupid, falling while saying something stupid) everyone has a good laugh and it’s over and I just don’t care.
No, the story I’m going to tell is something I found only minorly blushworthy at the time, but found out recently was FAR MORE EMBARRASSING than I knew at the time. After ten years.
I got to feel ten years’ worth of embarrassment all at once!
It takes place my freshman year of college. I was a residence hall geek. (Not the embarrassing part! Keep reading!) I was attending a program, and I didn’t know very many people. Earlier in the week, I had somewhat befriended a somewhat charming guy, and I spent most of the evening hanging out with him. He was very clearly A Flirt, even though I had probably been regaling him with stories of my long-distance boyfriend (Hey Matt! Have I told you this story? Ha!) for much of the evening. Still, though, it’s always NICE to be flirted with. Flattering, anyway. So then imagine my surprise, when at the end of the evening, a very friendly blonde comes over to talk to us, and he introduces her to me.
“This is my girlfriend.”
Oh. Well. I SEE. Ahem. Foot shuffle.
So, a haha moment, to be sure. One HE admitted to being embarrassed by when we spoke of it recently. And when we were speaking of it, he mentioned it to his wife. His wife who was his girlfriend that night. He thought it was just hilarious that he’d not brought her up at all the entire night, and she replied with, “Oh, I remember that. Diane was totally into you that night.”
I’m sorry. Let’s repeat that.
“Oh, I remember that. Diane was TOTALLY INTO YOU that night.”
Oh, I WAS, WAS I? So here I’m thinking, good lord, this woman, who I have BEEN FRIENDS WITH since this happened, has always thought I was hitting on her boyfriend that night?
I’m pretty sure I was not.
I have not stopped feeling embarrassed about this since he told me that. The words QUITE LITERALLY would not come. No words! How do you even begin to explain your way out of something from A DECADE AGO?
I suppose you don’t. You just tell it to all your friends on the internet.