This is the ninth NaBloPoMo post, and I think my head is running out words*. It’s not that I can’t come up with topics or little anecdotes — it’s that I want to describe them with a series of grunts and clicks heretofore unspoken. I used to have a vocabulary that went beyond “ha” and “really”, back in my days of ACADEMIA (yes! even math majors have to be literate!), but the less I’ve used it, the harder it’s gotten to produce intelligent sounding speech.
My official diagnosis here is that I’m not reading enough. I’m not reading at all, actually. (I’m a stranger in my own body! Yeee!) I used to read several books a week. (Of course, when you’re working as a library page, you tend to come across a lot of interesting material. And it’s all free! Freeeee! The stack of books on my nightstand was always a foot and a half tall. They didn’t all get read, but they were there.)
(Seeing more parentheses than paragraph? You must be reading dashoff!)
Now, we visit the library weekly, and I don’t even bother to look at books for myself. I’ll never have the time to read that! Ha!
Somewhere along the way, I’ve stopped making time to read. Part of it is the exhaustion — reading, even something I absolutely adore, tips the scales to SLEEP if I’m even slightly tired. When I spend my mornings and afternoons and evenings chasing my girls and then my nights spending time with Matt (followed, of course, by tending to the girls’ overnight needs) … I’m a zombie.
It seriously PAINS ME to think about the last year and how I’ve read so little. How many books could I have devoured in that time? How many books will I NEVER get to read because of this tabling of one of my favorite pastimes?
I’d like to finish this with some huge proclamation about how I’m going to make an effort, and set goals, and la la la KAZAAM MIRACLE, but no. That’s not me at all. What I will do is take the 45 minutes or so I have left of this nap time and pick up a book.
Just like Bob, I am all about the Baby Steps.
* When I went back to proofread the post before hitting publish, I noticed I left out the word “of” in this sentence. Considering it was a description of how my head is RUNNING OUT OF WORDS, I couldn’t resist leaving it as written. I keep it real here, folks.