Is there a vice that involves the neglect of one’s blog? No? Then I suppose I’m out of excuses.
All attempts at intro-ing this bad boy are FALLING FLAT, so let us jump right on in to the bullet points.
- The Internet. Let’s just get that one out of the way. It’s a PROBLEM. I know it’s a problem. I’m attached to my laptop for most of the day. But it’s where my friends live! It’s, unfortunately, also a fantastic way of hiding from the real world and the people all around me. It’s become a ginormous security blanket, and unplugging seems downright SCARY. I might miss something! Which brings me to …
- DRAMA. I’m not (usually) in the business of creating drama, but I can’t help but watch. I’m a huge people-watcher in the mall, but the intertubes make it so much more convenient. Internet troll shenanigans and huge public arguments on Twitter? I’m usually behind the scenes, IMing with someone, speculating on what’s gone down. I should point out, I’m only talking about drama that involves me in absolutely no way. THAT sort of drama is to be avoided at ALL costs. It also has to be real-life and people I know in some context (internetally counts here). Reality TV drama? Doesn’t cut it. Can’t stand the stuff.
- Worrying. I know that’s probably not technically a vice, but I worry to the extent that it is both harmful and over-indulgent. I worry to have control over a situation, and it makes absolutely NO sense intuitively … but I’m pretty sure my worrying has saved THOUSANDS of lives by keeping all of my flights in the air.
- Flirting. Uh. Probably one of my favorite pastimes, hands down. Pretty sure I’ve had some friendships based solely on our high caliber of flirtation. Makes me miss working at the library too, because EVERYONE wants to flirt with the librarian. (P.S. I swear I’m not a ho.)
- Daydreaming. Sometimes? The world is just better up in my head. My imagination never shuts off, and I spend great stretches of time just moving things in my life around and playing WHAT IF? I count this as a vice, because it cuts into the time I could be thinking about more important things. Like hanging up the wash to dry. Or world peace. Or where I might score my next Diet Coke.
- Diet Coke. OMGLOVE. I just … inexplicably … love this stuff. When we used to buy soda, I’d limit myself to one can per day, but we don’t buy it anymore. Artificial sweeteners BAD! But, oh, Diet Coke. I miss you. And even though I can’t bring you home to live with me forever, I will totally get freaky with you in secret every chance I get.
- Seasonal goodies. Very appropriate at the moment. Much like the Diet Coke, I try not to buy candy or cookies or anything like that. If I buy it, I will eat it. But then the holidays roll around, and this crap just starts pouring in my windows and out my faucet and OH MINI-BABY RUTH BARS I WOULD BATHE IN YOU IF I COULD. Somehow it seems like it’s just FINE to over-indulge in something if it’s something you don’t get to do very often. Flawed logic FTW!
Now it’s your turn, my pretties. I gots me some candy corn and Twitter-flirting to get to.