Hi, you can call me Bessie, and this is my husband, Mr. Ed

It started a little something like this:

Picture 3

For a day or so, Roo had been pretty fussy. The naps weren’t happening. She wanted to nurse non-stop, but had zero interest in food. The fever came Thursday night, but stayed away after a single dose of Infant Tylenol (I know, but we were out of Motrin. At least it was off-brand, and not subject to the recalls.) Friday she had a bit of a rash on her legs, but we had been at Matt’s grandmother’s house, and it was concentrated on her knees and along her shins, so I assumed it was from crawling on the carpet. Later that night, we noticed a blister on her toe, and I recalled what I had thought might be a bug bite on her foot from the day before. She also had some pretty icky diaper rash, which I also attributed to the sickness. Or perhaps teething? You know how it goes with babies. It’s a guessing game, AT BEST.

The weekend passed without further incident. She got back to feeling like herself with a bit of a runny nose, so I chalked it up to a minor sore throat (to explain the copious nursing with Cheerio-refusal WHAT-WHAT) and left it at that. Monday night I started feeling a little feverish and icky in my throat, so I felt confident that I had properly assessed Roo’s condition and silently applauded my mama smarts and lack of FREAKOUT.

To backtrack a little bit with info that will seem COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT, a couple of weeks ago, I switched toothpastes. I have always had cold-sensitive teeth, and my recent fillings have dialed that up to a 12. My brother told me all the sensitivity toothpastes he had tried gave him canker sores, so I researched and found one that wasn’t supposed to do that (Hint: look for one without sodium lauryl sulfate). A week into using it? Canker sores. CURSES.

This morning as I was stumbling about changing diapers and making bagels and finding time to pee, I noticed my toe had a blister on it. Very similar to the ones Roo had the other day. Weird, I thought. Maybe they ARE some sort of bug bite?

Then I get an IM from Matt at work. Telling me now his throat is sore. Oh, AND. He has some canker sores in his mouth. HE NEVER GETS CANKER SORES.

At this point, the wheels (finally, right? like, did I need a genie to pop out and draw me a picture? the ghost of illness past?) start spinning in my head. I turn, OF COURSE, to Google, and find out canker sores can accompany viral infections, no big deal. But then I’m thinking about our feet, because Matt showed me a sore spot on his toe last night, and —



Doesn’t that sound ominous? I feel like I should be quarantined or have signs and BIOHAZARD tape up around my house. I sort of want people to call me asking favors, so I can be all, “Sorry, I can’t, on account of my HAND FOOT AND MOUTH DISEASE.”

So, ominous-sounding, yes. But all in all, it’s not so bad. I never would have realized any of us had it if we hadn’t had these bizarre symptoms in tandem. Honestly, I wouldn’t have even thought to Google “HAND FOOT AND MOUTH DISEASE” other than an old friend of mine mentioned on Facebook that her 18-month-old had recently had it. I remember reading it and thinking, “Do people seriously get that? How do you let your kid get that? I AM SUCH A BETTER PARENT HA HA HA” and then we went to the grocery store and Roo sucked on the shopping cart handle and now we’ve been reduced to a bunch of barnyard animals with festering sores.


Filed under Not even kidding

4 responses to “Hi, you can call me Bessie, and this is my husband, Mr. Ed

  1. Dude, we had a mild case of that in our house a couple of months back – it’s a weird, weird illness!

  2. shriekhouse

    I’d never heard of it the first time one of my kids got it, and it was right in the middle of that kerfuffle about mad cow disease, with all the antimicrobial footbaths in the news etc, so when the pediatrician said “hand foot and mouth” I *heard* “mad cow disease” and FLIPPED.

    Parenting is like black market med school, I swear. Just one random weird disease after another.

  3. Lu

    Sheesh I hope you guys kick that soon!

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