Monthly Archives: September 2009

Hi, you can call me Bessie, and this is my husband, Mr. Ed

It started a little something like this:

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For a day or so, Roo had been pretty fussy. The naps weren’t happening. She wanted to nurse non-stop, but had zero interest in food. The fever came Thursday night, but stayed away after a single dose of Infant Tylenol (I know, but we were out of Motrin. At least it was off-brand, and not subject to the recalls.) Friday she had a bit of a rash on her legs, but we had been at Matt’s grandmother’s house, and it was concentrated on her knees and along her shins, so I assumed it was from crawling on the carpet. Later that night, we noticed a blister on her toe, and I recalled what I had thought might be a bug bite on her foot from the day before. She also had some pretty icky diaper rash, which I also attributed to the sickness. Or perhaps teething? You know how it goes with babies. It’s a guessing game, AT BEST.

The weekend passed without further incident. She got back to feeling like herself with a bit of a runny nose, so I chalked it up to a minor sore throat (to explain the copious nursing with Cheerio-refusal WHAT-WHAT) and left it at that. Monday night I started feeling a little feverish and icky in my throat, so I felt confident that I had properly assessed Roo’s condition and silently applauded my mama smarts and lack of FREAKOUT.

To backtrack a little bit with info that will seem COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT, a couple of weeks ago, I switched toothpastes. I have always had cold-sensitive teeth, and my recent fillings have dialed that up to a 12. My brother told me all the sensitivity toothpastes he had tried gave him canker sores, so I researched and found one that wasn’t supposed to do that (Hint: look for one without sodium lauryl sulfate). A week into using it? Canker sores. CURSES.

This morning as I was stumbling about changing diapers and making bagels and finding time to pee, I noticed my toe had a blister on it. Very similar to the ones Roo had the other day. Weird, I thought. Maybe they ARE some sort of bug bite?

Then I get an IM from Matt at work. Telling me now his throat is sore. Oh, AND. He has some canker sores in his mouth. HE NEVER GETS CANKER SORES.

At this point, the wheels (finally, right? like, did I need a genie to pop out and draw me a picture? the ghost of illness past?) start spinning in my head. I turn, OF COURSE, to Google, and find out canker sores can accompany viral infections, no big deal. But then I’m thinking about our feet, because Matt showed me a sore spot on his toe last night, and —

Yes.

HAND FOOT AND MOUTH DISEASE.

Doesn’t that sound ominous? I feel like I should be quarantined or have signs and BIOHAZARD tape up around my house. I sort of want people to call me asking favors, so I can be all, “Sorry, I can’t, on account of my HAND FOOT AND MOUTH DISEASE.”

So, ominous-sounding, yes. But all in all, it’s not so bad. I never would have realized any of us had it if we hadn’t had these bizarre symptoms in tandem. Honestly, I wouldn’t have even thought to Google “HAND FOOT AND MOUTH DISEASE” other than an old friend of mine mentioned on Facebook that her 18-month-old had recently had it. I remember reading it and thinking, “Do people seriously get that? How do you let your kid get that? I AM SUCH A BETTER PARENT HA HA HA” and then we went to the grocery store and Roo sucked on the shopping cart handle and now we’ve been reduced to a bunch of barnyard animals with festering sores.

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7 Quick Takes – Extra quick! Before the kids wake up!

1. I am a de-cluttering MASTER, you guys. This week, I have torn through every room of the house with one mission: Throw. Crap. Away. I have been wallowing in this house for three years. This house I don’t really love. This house that has never felt like HOME, for some reason. I finally snapped out of it and realized that maybe it could feel like home if I just gave it a chance. That maybe I could enjoy my hours trapped spent in here if things were orderly and less like the after effects of tornadic activity.

2. Part of The Plan, as I am now thinking of it, involves a few home improvements. Married/partnered/roommated homeowners out there may have some idea of where I’m going with this. Home improvements CAN BE THE END OF EVERYTHING. There is just no arguing like the arguing that takes place when putting together a crazy IKEA desk or painting a room. I’m a crazed perfectionist so it is the END OF THE WORLD when the molding on the bookcase trim isn’t perfectly centered or there is a single drip of yellow paint on the white baseboards. And, just … don’t send me into a room with crooked picture frames hung on the walls. We visited my husband’s grandmother last weekend, and I think I need some heavy meds before I can set foot in there again. Dozens of frames, off balance at different angles. Makes my head get all bendy just THINKING ABOUT IT.

3. On the kiddie front, Roo seems to be sick, but I have no idea what it is. She had a fever last night, appears to be in some discomfort today, but nothing seems wrong. No teeth bumps that I can discern. I’m just keeping an eye on her and snuggling her extra, and hoping I get back my giggle baby soon. And maybe a bit more sleep, as the last several nights have left Matt and I in the morning asking each other, “Uh. Do you remember how much we were up last night?” (We get a little confused on minimal sleep. Some day I’ll have to tell you the story of Matt trying to figuring out Vio’s IP address while in a sleepless stupor.)

4. Vio is now in underwear 24/7. I decided last weekend that we’d go diaper free overnight just to see what happened. It’s been a full week with no accidents, though now that I’ve told the internet, I’ll be mopping up pee at 2AM for certain. Though, according to #3, I WILL ALREADY BE AWAKE, SO NO MATTER.

5. Fall TV coming back has me more excited than usual this year. Grey’s last night totally broke my heart (George was my most favorite, from the first episode, through the ridiculous marriage to Callie, the half-assed affair with Izzie, and the full season in which they only let him speak four times.) Glee takes me to my happy place. I seriously haven’t been this excited about a show since Veronica Mars (which is something else that CONTINUES TO BREAK MY HEART.) Also on the docket: Dollhouse, The Office, CSI (THE ORIGINAL ONLY YEEEEOOOOAAAAHHHH), and Private Practice. (I am RIVETED by the cliffhanger on that one. Cooper almost opened the door! Gah!)

6. Hanging up our clothes to dry instead of using the dryer seems to be cutting roughly $20/month off our power bill. This makes me do a tiny dance of joy. (Also, hanging clothes on the drying rack pleases me. There is a symmetry to it that I find soothing.) (Shut it.)

7. Reading this list back over, the thought has just occurred to me that a lot more INTERESTING things happened this week than the six I have spastically highlighted here. This tells me I need to be writing more as things happen, but the day always gets away from me. Ooh, I’ll sit down to write as soon as x, y, and z are taken care of. Except, in the process of x, I discover an a, b, and a c, never get around to y, and z turns into SLEEP. Also, this post just became the weirdest word problem EVER.

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Girl Talk Thursday – My (not quite) romance novel

Back when I was in grad school, I spent just over a year working as a page at the downtown library in Gainesville. We had monthly sectional assignments that dictated in which area we needed to be straightening, shelving, and reading for order. Over the course of my year there, I worked 13 different sections, and I can tell you, WITHOUT even a shred of hyperbole, Romance was the most CRAZY-GO-NUTS of all. It was easily the most popular section of the library for browsing, which meant I would get things straightened only to come back from pulling the book drop or shelving DVDs to find materials strewn about all willy-nilly. During the summer, I’d have to step over the pre-teens who would hide in the stacks, skimming for the dirtiest scenes.

I have to admit, I’ve never really been into romance novels. I think it’s the euphemisms (mound? member? SRSLY?) that completely turn me off and leave me giggling. I know there are tons of sub-genres and all that, so maybe some day I’ll find the time to delve in and find something I could actually enjoy. I prefer when the romance is a sub-plot in a much bigger story. I’d rather read a book about something interesting with a few smoldering sex scenes than read a book of sex scenes in which nothing else interesting happens. That’s what internet erotica is for, no? (NOT THAT I WOULD KNOW. I’VE JUST HEARD SO STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT.)

That 200 word intro there is my long-winded way of saying: I have no idea how to answer this question! If I were in a romance novel, my story would involve NO mention of the phrase “pouty nether lips”, no huge-muscled, long-haired Fabio on the cover, and absolutely no “damsel in distress” scenarios. (In fact, I think I’ll be the one doing the rescuing, thank you very much.)

It would take place in some futuristic dystopian society that has figured out how to circumvent sex completely. No longer needed to maintain the population, it would be seen as something animalistic and below us as humans. As a librarian and scholar, I would come across a cache of old books, hidden safely decades ago by a librarian who couldn’t bring himself to destroy them as instructed, and learn all about the ancient practice of sex. I’d be too scared to bring it up to my husband (families are still formed on the basis of raising children, after all, but people are paired up by the government based on a whole lot of forms and evaluations and genetics and BAD EVIL GOVERNMENT reasoning). Instead, I’d run away and seek out other people like me, having some pretty crazy, first time, no clue what the hell we’re doing sex, until I finally find My People and am completely indoctrinated into their SUPER HOT lifestyle, wherein we must hide from the authorities or risk certain death. (I mentioned being sneaky in my turn-ons post, and YEAH. It would appear I meant it.) Eventually we’d decide humanity can’t go on any longer without the sex, so we’d set about seducing government officials and The Man until eventually the whole world exploded from the hotness.

Uh. That got a little weird, no? Sort of turned into “If you were a character in a dystopian novel, what would your story be” post instead. HAHA! A technicality!

So. What would YOUR (deep breath) romance-story-in-a-genre-other-than-romance-because-you’ve-never-read-romance-but-are-a-big-dork-about-other-types-of-stories be?

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AppleCheeks winner!

I know; it’s about time, right?

There were 79 comments on the post …

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So I hopped on over to random.org …

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Cursed the heavens for it giving me a high number, counted up from the bottom to find …

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Congratulations, Pamela! I really loved this answer because OH MY LANDS is it ever true. (If you follow my feed on Twitter, you know why I am nodding my head at this more than EVER today.) Enjoy your diaper, and come back and tell us what you think!

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