New year quick takes: now with less quickness!

1. I tried to do that questionnaire thing that was circulating involving year-end recaps and blah di blah, but by the time I was 2/3 of the way through, I couldn’t stand the thought of reading it back over. And if I didn’t want to read it, I knew YOU didn’t want to read it, so you can go ahead and thank me for that when you finally make your way to the bottom of this post and the comment form. Not yet, obviously, because you don’t want to miss any of the rest of my piercing wit. BUT! When the time comes, you can feel free to thank me. 2011 was a DOOZY of a year, to put it mildly. I’m trying to focus (now that it’s OVER MUAHAHAHA I WIN 2011!) on the blessings from last year — like the ice cream that came in the mail from Maureen and, you know, the baby — instead of plotting ways to destroy the life of Evil Pharmacist.

2. Which … did I even talk here about Evil Pharmacist? From the Evil Compounding Pharmacy? If you follow me on Twitter, you saw me have this breakdown involving probably seven straight hours of shouting. <LONG RANTING RANT REDACTED> I just deleted a good 600 words that basically boil down to: the pharmacy said they were giving us corn-free medicine, but they were not. We stopped giving him the medicine, his eczema stopped flaring up constantly, he caught up on motor skill milestones, and now I can eat almost anything so long as it’s corn-free (so almost nothing but it feels like almost anything). I wish I could somehow get that pharmacist to understand what she put us through. MONTHS of eating the way I was eating, and it was all because he was continuing to ingest corn. I’m furious, more furious than I have EVER BEEN, so furious I can’t even think of an ironic sort of thing to put here in second place, like AND I AM A JOSS WHEDON FAN SO I KNOW ANGER WAH DOLLHOUSE or whatever, because I AM JUST THAT MAD. I almost quit nursing him! DEEP BREATHS WHILE ALSO FANTASIZING ABOUT FORCE-FEEDING THE PHARMACIST THREE MONTHS’ WORTH OF RICE AND OATMEAL.

3. Don’t we all feel better now, having that off our chests? Let’s just relax for this quick take. You don’t even have to read this one. Me mentioning Dollhouse got me thinking about Paul Ballard, though, so that’s another thing you can thank me for in the comments.

4. The actual reason I sat down to write this post today is that the housework is just out of control now. It’s smacking me in the face with its not-doneness pretty much constantly. Every time I think, “Let’s do all the laundry!” I start with the kids’ laundry, because they get one hamper between the three of them, and of course it is always full. Especially in “winter” which means putting one of our two long-sleeved t-shirts under a short-sleeved t-shirt and applying one (1) extra hoodie/sweater for each 10-15 degree drop in temperature, meaning we dirty all of the things on each of the days. [ASIDE: Where would we even be as an internet right now if not for Allie Brosh giving us the phrase “CLEAN ALL THE THINGS”? What would we even SAY? She’s defined a generation! Or at least an internet meme cycle!] Anyway, I always start with their laundry, but by the time I get to the end of their laundry, there is no more time to do other laundry. Then the next day I feel like “WOW! I did so much laundry yesterday I won’t need to do any today!” so I don’t do any and then the next day I STILL feel that way because I’m still folding the 900 pairs of pants and socks and onesies that fit into a single hamper at which point the laundry is even more out of control and I think “NOW LET’S START WITH THE CHILDREN.” If I keep putting their laundry’s oxygen mask on first, I’m going to be naked and WITHOUT AIR.

5. The actual reason I sat down to write Quick Take #4 was to tell you the actual reason I sat down to write this post today and I am now actually going to tell you what that reason was which is that I think maybe it’s gotten to the point where I need to make myself some sort of CHORE CHART. Like I am five. But basically breaking down the things that need doing and then assigning them to days of the week. For the most part, I manage to keep up with the kitchen and sort of the laundry and a good chunk of the tidying, but you don’t want to know how long it’s been since the mopping or the sweeping or the other deep-cleaning things that need doing FAR more often than we do them. So something like a laundry schedule where I always do linens on Tuesdays and whites on Wednesdays and then always do floors on Fridays and dust on … well, let’s not get out of hand. Do any of you do that? Or are you just really awesome at remembering what needs doing? WELL GOOD FOR YOU I NEED A CHART.

6. Another thing we’ve had going on around here lately is teething. I am not even talking about THE BABY exclusively, because all three of my children are cutting teeth right now. All of them. How. How did they coordinate this? I mean, for the love, Vio is cutting her first 6-year molar at the age of 5, and Roo is cutting her last 2-year molar at the age of 3, so they really REALLY had to work to line that up. AND AND. They are in the same place (upper left) in their mouths. Leo is working on cutting his first tooth, one of the bottom front ones as babies are wont to do, which is the exact tooth Vio just LOST, so she is cutting her first ADULT tooth in that EXACT SAME SPOT. I can make Venn diagrams with overlap on the teeth my DIFFERENTLY AGED children are cutting.

7. Today is my half-birthday! I mentioned that on Twitter this morning, and it is something that stupidly excites me (on the years I actually notice the date, anyway. Usually I’ll find myself on January 7th or 8th REALLY REALLY bummed that I missed it.) Another reason I love my half-birthday is that it is on TOPSY TURVY DAY. If you don’t know what Topsy Turvy Day is then you aren’t as big a fan of Disney’s Hunchback of Notre Dame as I am which basically means you don’t know what Topsy Turvy Day is because I have never met ANYONE ELSE who actually liked that movie and SO WHAT if I was 14 when it came out IT SPOKE TO ME GOD HELP THE OUTCASTS etc. etc., but in one of the songs they sing, “Scurvy knaves are extra scurvy/on the 6th of January/all because it’s Topsy Turvy day!” Really though the best part about it being my half-birthday is that that means tomorrow is Leo’s half-birthday, making him a ripe old One Half years old. I am really really excited about age one-half, you guys. So! Be extra scurvy for me, won’t you?

(More quick takes here.)

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9 Comments

Filed under Little lion man, Motherhood uncensored, My girls, Not even kidding, Quick takes

9 responses to “New year quick takes: now with less quickness!

  1. I don’t have a chore chart at the moment, but I have in the past (for chores and homework and who knows what else) and it helped. I made a month schedule on a posterboard (with removable velcro numbers to move around) and used different colored little post-its for different things – blue was homework, pink was house stuff/chores, yellow was for appts out of the house, etc. It worked, and it was a FABULOUS procrastination devise as it took forever to make. Maybe I should make a new one?

  2. Meghan

    Unclutterer has nice pre-made chore charts and schedules.

  3. a) I’m not sure I would love to be extra scurvy. In fact, I’m going to go eat some oranges to prevent it.

    b) A teeth Venn diagram! Amazing! They really must have done some serious advance planning to work that out.

    c) I also need a Chore Chart.

    d) Who am I kidding? I am chippering on about scurvy and Chore Charts when really I am just AGHAST at the news of the pharmacist. Did she… get fired? Or at LEAST a severe reprimand of some sort? She is extra scurvy! Extra scurvy for her! Or something!

    e) Happy half birthday to you and Leo!

  4. I have had a chore schedule and it was glorious. However, now with the addition of the small child, I don’t think it will work anymore. We have some days that are just too busy to do laundry on, so if I have Monday as laundry day (which I used to) and we are busy on Monday, then it throws everything off. I think what I am going to do is make up some magnets (I have our calendar on a giant magnetic white board) of what I need to get done every week and then I can move them around.

  5. OMG Diane, I have been fairly absent on Twitter lately (I’m going to remedy that soon, I swear) so I didn’t actually see your tweets about the Evil Pharmacist. My stomach is tied up in knots just reading it and I am SO INCREDIBLY ANGRY on your behalf. I really hope you wrote letter after letter and talked with supervisors & managers & bosses & store owners & hell, Congressmen or something. Because if that pinehole isn’t fired, she really really should be. I am heartbroken for all you and Leo have been through but I am SO glad that things have worked out and that Leo is better.

    Laundry. Yuck. My kids have a shared hamper as well, and I always start with their laundry too. I have recently had a genius epiphany though: the laundry that I do AFTER theirs is a load of adult socks & underwear. ONLY socks & underwear, because that’s what we’re always running short of. Leo & I have enough pants & shirts to last us a loooooong time without doing laundry and I used to separate shirts by colour and add the underwear/socks of that colour group. That doesn’t get a lot of socks/underwear washed on a regular basis. Then I realized all our underwear and socks are old and so the colours don’t run anyway, so now I lump them all together. This gives me WEEKS of non-child-laundry-free time. Maybe that technique would work for you too?

    Happy half-birthday!

  6. I totally missed the evil pharmacist news on twitter, but even though that is AWFUL, I am so glad you can eat food again! And I totally have a chore chart. It’s a life saver.

  7. I even knew about the evil pharmacist already and still the passing reference to it in #1 made me BOILING MAD before I got to #2. I just cannot believe that happened. It makes me so mad I can barely speak.

    I definitely need some sort of chore chart or something. What I really need is for these kids to start pitching in around here. They’ve got so much time! I have so little!

    So far, age one-half has not been good to us. Teething, ear infections, growth spurt, wonder week…we haven’t slept in FOREVER and the constant whining is making me CRAZY.

  8. Oh lord with the corn medicine. So sorry.

  9. I used to have a chore chart. I needed a reminder to do stuff and I hated getting overwhelmed with the sheer volume of work I ended up finding myself with. (Ignore the grammar there…) I think it’ll de-stress you a bit to see that everything has its time to be done.